Water and Ice
by AvaEobane
Summary: The world stopped turning when she was struck and coping was impossible when she was sleeping - perhaps forever. But giving up was impossible as well.


**Water and Ice**

* * *

Water. What was ice without water? What was he without Juvia?

The bench where she had sat before was empty now and suddenly, the formerly so small space seemed to be huge, huge enough to swallow him whole. Whenever Mira sung in the evening, he looked around, trying to find her – only to be reminded of the depressing truth. She was no longer there and he knew that Erza and the others tried very hard not to mention her name while he was around – but even with their best efforts, he was constantly reminded that she was no longer here. Erza had warned him. She had told him that he might regret it one day that he had never been able to tell her – _never think her name, Gray, __**never**_ – how he truly felt for her.

But he had been too stupid and maybe too scared as well to admit to himself that yes, he loved her – a lot, actually. Ur's death had showed him that no matter who he loved, this person would always suffer. His parents and Ur had made him consider this theory and now, she had been the final proof.

The way it had happened had been strangely ironic. Lyon had lost control over one of his Ice Make: Snow Tigers and instead of the enemy, the creature had attacked her. The silver-haired man had tried to cancel the spell but it had been too late. She had been struck and the blood … he shuddered as he remembered the sight of her blood on the ground. Lyon's horrified scream sometimes resounded in his ears as well. She had not died, though. Chelia had been there to heal her just in time to prevent that. But the bed in Fairy Tail's sickbay had been occupied by her ever since, the nightstand buried under an ever-growing amount of flowers.

He always visited, just holding her hand and talking to her, telling her about what had happened in the guild lately, about Erza's and Jellal's engagement, the hickey on Levy's neck. Maybe he should have done this before. Maybe he should have spent time with her before, maybe he should have given her a chance before.

Erza's hand suddenly clasped his to ease his grip on Juvia's hand. "Careful," the red-haired mage warned softly. "You are breaking her hand, Gray, if you keep this up."

"Oi, granny, any changes?" Natsu asked as he entered the sickbay.

"What is he doing here?" Gray snapped as he spotted Lyon, lurking around at the doorframe. "I said that I don't want him anywhere close to her ever again!"

"Gray," Erza said sharply as she sent him a glare. "It's time for you to go home and take a shower, again. You look like you haven't slept in weeks."

"Funny," he said. "Because I didn't sleep at all lately."

Erza looked at him with the same expression of pity and sympathy she had shown around him all the time since the fateful day when he had carried her – Ju-Juvia – back to the guild, with bloodied clothes, stained by her blood and with empty eyes. "Please, Gray," she whispered as she sat down on the chair Lucy pushed into her direction. "I know that you are blaming yourself but … what you are doing now won't help anyone. Imagine Juvia would wake up now – how would she feel to see you like this?"

"Don't bring her into this – it's not about her!" he snapped.

"If it's not about her – about who is this, Gray?" Natsu asked as he leaned forward. "Remember what I said when you tried to use that Iced-Shell-nonsense?! We don't die for our nakama – we live for them! Instead of mourning her even though she isn't dead yet, you could try living!"

"Leave me the fuck alone!" the Ice Mage said as he jumped up. "I didn't tell you to move on when you were depressed after Lisanna's so-called death, Natsu. And no one told you to stop loving Jellal when it did nothing but hurting you, Erza. So how about you leave me alone?"

A sudden punch sent him staggering backwards and he turned his head just to see Cana, close to tears. "Why?" he asked as he looked at his oldest friend inside the guild, feeling suddenly very betrayed because of all people who might punch him, she had been the last one he counted on.

"I am sorry, Gray," she apologised as she lowered her head. "But … you need sleep – and a shower. Go home for at least a few hours, will you? I can keep an eye on her for so long."

"Booze Chick's right, ya know?" Gajeel said, crossing his arms. "Juvia's a tough one. She'll be out for another few days but when she gets up again, she will be more concerned for you than for anyone else. So … don't make her worry then and take care of yourself for the night."

"You promise to stay sober, Cana?" Gray asked as he looked at the brunette.

She nodded as a serious look crossed her face. "On my honour as a Fairy Tail mage," she replied.

"Thank you," he said. '_For both … the punch and for keeping an eye on her for now.'_

Erza looked at his back as he left. "Gray is barely able to contain himself much longer," she said as she looked at Lyon. "Once all of this is over, the two of you need to talk about all of this."

"I understand, yes," the older Ice Mage said with a short nod. "I never wanted this to happen, you know? I never imagined that this could even happen … and I never wanted to hurt Juvia."

* * *

Juvia Lockser awoke this very night from her one month of coma. She slowly opened her eyes, wondering why everything hurt so much before she remembered the Snow Tiger and the pain – and the blood. She had yet to figure out why her water body had betrayed her before she remembered that she had been out of magical power so that the spell had lost effect.

She carefully sat up, gasping softly at the pain that shot up her arms and looked around in the darkness. Trying to figure out where she was, she touched the edge of her bed and felt hair – and a head. "H-Hello?" she asked hoarsely. "W-who is there?"

"Go back to sleep, Juvia," a familiar voice mumbled. "It's in the middle of the nigh- dear Mavis, you are awake? Where's my light card, dammit?"

"C-Cana-san? Where is Juvia?" the Water Mage asked confused.

"In Fairy Tail's sickbay … Glow," the other woman said before a magical card started to light up the dark room. "You had all of us worried … especially Gray. He only left your side when he forced him too … I sent him home earlier today because he looked half-dead."

"G-Gray-sama was here?"

"All the time, yes," Cana nodded as she looked around. "Do you need anything? I can get you something to eat and drink…"

"Oi, what's the commotion in here? Did you finally snap and started talking to yourself, Alberona?" Laxus Dreyar who suddenly towered in the doorframe sounded slightly annoyed.

"No, I am talking to Juvia, Dreyar," Cana said as she mentioned towards the blue-haired woman. "As you can see, she just woke up so she might want some breakfast. How about you cook something for her while I go and drag Gray out of his bed?"

"Do I look like your personal slave?" the blond man asked.

She tilted her head as she got up. "Well, yes, now that you mention it," she said as she yawned. "Dear Mavis, I am so damn tired…" she muttered.

"Then get Gray and go to bed," Laxus sighed. "I'll handle the rest."

"Thank you – but I want to see the dramatic reunion," she said as she hurried away.

Laxus frowned as he crossed his arms before he turned around to Juvia. "You okay?" he asked as he wondered why he had allowed himself to be roped into this. "Here are painkillers if you need some … I'll get you something to drink and eat as well … give me just a moment, yes?"

Juvia's jaw dropped slightly. She had never talked much with Laxus despite being in the same team at the beginning of the Grand Magic Games but she had always been under the impression that he could not care less about most people in the guild – her included. And now, he was getting her something to eat and drink just because of a probably joking remark from an overly exhausted Cana. This was strange, very strange even.

"There you go," he said as he held out a cup of water and a few pills. "Take them all, they will make you feel a lot better. Don't worry – I'm not trying to poison you."

"T-thank you," she said as she swallowed the medicine. "How … how are the others, Laxus-san?"

"Mostly alright," he shrugged. "Natsu's annoying as always and … for Gray, well, I don't know."

"Did something … did something bad happen to Gray-sama?" Juvia asked worried as the painkillers started to take effect in her body. "Cana said that he hardly left at all…"

"And that's what worried me and some others as well," he said. "She was literal. He was on one single job since that day … and that was to get enough cash to pay his rent."

Outside, the door at the main entrance was slammed open as two pair of footsteps approached. One set was light and heels made click-clack-noises as the second set was heavier, like from boots. A few seconds later, Cana and Gray entered the room. The Card Mage looked like she could use a few hours of sleep and Gray's facial expression was a mixture of guilt and relief.

"Thank you, Cana and Laxus," the Ice Mage said. "You can go home now. I can stay for the rest of the night. Don't worry, Cana, I'm fine." He stopped. "Why were you still at the guild, anyway, Laxus? Didn't you say that you'd go home early to catch some sleep before the next job?"

Maybe it was the weak light but for a moment, Juvia nearly believed that the Lightening Mage's earlobes reddened slightly.

"I was asked to do the accounting for the guild tonight," the Lightening Mage said with a shrug.

Gray raised his eyebrow, remembering that while this was in fact Laxus' job, the older man usually took everything to his apartment. "Okay," he said. "But … please walk Cana home. She nearly fell asleep on me when we got here and I don't want her to get in trouble."

Laxus nodded and while Cana rolled her eyes, she followed him without another word.

"…um, welcome back?" Gray tried as silence set in. He groaned and rubbed his neck, wondering where his wonderful, mentally rehearsed speeches had disappeared to.

"Gray-sama does not have to talk if he does not wish to," Juvia said with a faint smile. "Juvia already appreciates that he came … a lot."

"Juvia, please," he said as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Don't act strong when you are in pain," he sighed as he carefully touched her messy hair to brush a single strand back. "I didn't come because I felt guilty for what happened. I also came because I wanted to check on you."

"This is very kind," she said as she lowered her head. "Laxus-san gave Juvia a few painkillers."

"At least something he can do right," Gray muttered drily as he clasped her hand. "You gave me one hell of a scare, Juvia," he admitted. "When that beast struck you … when you went down…"

"Juvia is sorry for not saying that she was out of magical power."

"Don't apologise," he said, keeping himself from snapping at her. "That wasn't your fault – but I also don't blame Lyon even though he shouldn't have lost control in first place. I just … wanted to make sure that you are fine now … and that you won't … that you won't leave me again." He bit his lip as he looked at her with determination. "I am sorry, Juvia. I was a complete jerk to you … and that's not what I meant to be. You are great, really, and deserve so much more than me."

"Is … is this Gray-sama's way of letting Juvia down?" she asked, biting her own lip.

He shook his head, squeezing her hand gently. "No," he said. "Never. Like I said, I got a lot to apologise for … and if you want to, I'd like to take you out of dinner once you can get up. And I promise that it will be better than whatever Laxus made," he said with a wary gaze into the direction of the plate. "He's not the greatest cook but still."

"Laxus-san was really kind to Juvia," she said. "And … Juvia would love to go out for dinner with Gray-sama … but she has to heal properly first."

"Yeah," he said sheepishly. "And please, call me Gray."


End file.
